There are Better Things I Could be Doing With My Time....

I've been doing a lot of knitting lately.  And I spent the weekend clearing out my Mother-in-Law's house after recently selling it.  She lived in that house for fifty-four years and never threw a single thing away.  Another time I'll tell you about some of the things I found there, but today I mention it simply for the dubious justification it lends to what I did yesterday.  Because I was feeling tired and in need of a little low level entertainment.  You understand, right?

For those of you who spend any time on Facebook, there has been a lot of news about the new app, Pokemon Go.  There was a time, when my son was little, that I could reel off the names of the first 150 Pokemon as easily as I could recite the periodic table.  (and yes, I can still recite the periodic table.  I am a nerd).  So when I saw a post saying that the game was now available in Canada, I was curious.

The app is free.  (still justifying).  So I downloaded it to see what it was all about.

The first thing it asked me to do was pick a name.  Simple enough.  Then it allowed me to pick clothing items for my avatar.  Right up my alley.  Soon I was nattily attired in a sporty blue and white ensemble and ready to look for Pokemon.  Instantly, a Charmander appeared right in my living room.  I threw a couple of poke balls at it and I was the proud owner of this cute little guy.

 I felt like one of the cool kids.  But it was night time and I am basically lazy, so I turned it off and binge watched The Killing on Netflix for the rest of the evening.

Next day.  I checked my living room again in the morning, but sadly, there were no Pokemon hanging out there this time.  I was going to have to go outside.  But frankly, I am a fifty year old woman living in a small town and I didn't really want anyone to see me wandering around trying to catch little virtual monsters on my phone.  So I compromised.

I had some errands to run.  So I decided to drive to my various errands.  Check at each stop from the privacy of my car to see if anything was there, and retain some dignity.  At least publicly.  First stop, the library.  Something told me that this would be a hot spot of activity.  I mean the game is trying to encourage kids to get outside and explore the World, right?.  What better place to encourage them to go than the library.?

 Sure enough, I caught a Weedle from the comfort of my car in the parking lot.  Then I realized that the library was also a PokeStop, a place where I could "level up" and collect more poke balls for my arsenal.  But apparently, the parking lot was too far away.  I needed to walk up to the front door.  Hmmm.

I got out of the car and tried to look casual as I walked to the front of the building.  There were two teenagers and a nine year old boy, obviously there for the same reason as I.  So I just headed for the front door.  Which was locked.  Shit.  I forgot that our library is closed on Mondays.  I wandered over to the bench in front of the place and sat down, trying to look like I was pondering politics or something suitably adult.  I glanced at my phone and it was doing Pokemon Go type things, but I needed to buy time.  I put my phone to my ear and spoke loudly into dead air.

"Hey."  Pause, as though someone else was talking back to me.

"Yeah, it's closed on Mondays."

"No."

"No."

"O.K.  I'll have to do it tomorrow, I guess.  Just wanted to let you know."

"Yup.  Ok.  See you tonight."

I snuck a quick peek.  Success!  I put my phone firmly in my purse, walked back to my car and drove away.  I'm pretty sure I fooled everybody.

Next stop, the Vape Store.  No Pokemon lurking in the parking lot here.  But I felt that was a good thing.  Don't want to encourage our youth to congregate here!  On to Old Navy!

Old Navy was a positive bonanza!  Again, this seemed like a good thing.  Encourage the kids to get their preppy on at reasonable prices! Although.... I suppose there are geopolitical ramifications and the strong likelihood of the economic subjugation of Third World Countries to consider when purchasing inexpensive shirts,  Maybe not so good.  But I digress.  A Magikarp popped up on my steering wheel.  I got so excited that I missed it three times.  It disappeared.  Bummer.

I went inside to exchange a shirt for my Mother-in-law and while I was waiting, I checked the app to see if any other Pokemon were nearby.  There were indications that several were lurking in the plaza. So I walked along the storefronts, holding my phone in an extremely awkward right side up, facing forward position down at my side so no one would know what I was doing.  It vibrated.  A Pidgey!  I totally lost my cool and just went ahead and caught it.  My shame temporarily vanished and I caught a Caterpie too.

Driving home, I was curious to see how frequently I would encounter Pokemon.  So I left the app open and propped the phone in my cupholder and set off.  Now, I am a responsible adult.  I've heard about the idiots who had driven into trees and off cliffs playing the game while driving.  I had no intention of reacting if the app buzzed.  I just wanted to know how far I would need to travel between sightings.

The drive home was 12 km.  My phone was buzzing and beeping pretty regularly, but I was going 80 km/hour.  So, although it seemed like those fuckers were everywhere, on foot, you would have to walk a fair distance to encounter that many.  The best part was glancing over to see my avatar running like hell in the cupholder as I sped along.

When I got home, I promptly messaged my son about the new Pokemon I had caught.  Just so he would know exactly how on fleek I was.  He was impressed by the Charmander.  He also expressed admiration for the Weedle and told me some interesting facts about what it would evolve into.  He gave up pretending to care when I told him about the Pidgey.  There was zero response to my news about Caterpie.  Clearly the bonding experience was over.

To be honest, it was kind of fun.  But to be really honest, my curiosity is satisfied and it is unlikely that I will go so far as to take an actual walk holding my phone out in front of me to catch more.  I have little to no interest in doing whatever you have to do to evolve the damn things.  Like, I'm not going to feed  them, or train them or any such bullshit.  My parenting years are behind me.  And I'm definitely not interested in battling with them.

So now what?  Are they dying in my phone because I am neglecting them?  Shit.  What have I done?  Is there a way to release these things back into the virtual wild?  I really didn't think this through.  Which only goes to show that I should have just stuck to knitting.

A (Not Very) Humble Brag

I'm just going to start this post with a warning.  I'm feeling very proud of myself and although I will, as society dictates, try to appear humble, I'm pretty sure that what follows will still be pretty self congratulatory.  So be it.  Sometimes we just have to celebrate our own little victories and to hell with it.

If you've been reading this blog at all, you will know that I have recently been having a lot of fun designing my own knitting patterns and selling them through Ravelry.com  As much as I enjoy it when a pattern catches on (and better still sells), I really enjoy the creative process so it doesn't bother me too much when a pattern doesn't get a lot of attention.

I like to learn new things and I like to share my knowledge so if I manage to do either of these things, I feel pretty awesome.  With this in mind, I try to do both when I design a new pattern. My favourite techniques combine simplicity with dramatic results.  Although it's nice to occasionally knit a project because it challenges us, I feel like most knitters have limited time and resources.  I think a lot of techniques seem intimidating especially to beginners.  So I really love it when I can make a fantastic result accessible to all knitters.

So I was pretty excited when I learned about mosaic knitting, I knew it was something I wanted to master and share.  You know those Icelandic sweaters we talked about with the intricate, multi-coloured patterns in the yoke?

This is an example of fair isle knitting

That's not mosaic knitting.  That is called fair isle knitting and it requires the knitter to change colours often within a single row of knitting.  It requires complex charts of stitches and the ability to read them.  It requires time, patience, and manual dexterity.  In short, it looks fantastic but it's a bitch to knit.

Mosaic knitting, on the other hand, can be used to achieve similar fantastic results without ever changing colours in a row.  It is done by strategically slipping stitches on row, then knitting them in the next row when you have changed colours simply, as God intended, at the beginning of a row.  Magic!

These are examples of mosaic knitting

This seemed like a perfect technique for an idea that had been milling around in my head for a while.  I envisioned a pure cream background and stripes of a fair isle style pattern done in red, grey, yellow and green.  In my head, it seemed reminiscent of a German fairy tale.  Hansel and Gretyl maybe.  I wanted simple single colour stripes in the top section of the shawl.  I wanted a couple of really bold patterned stripes using all the colours at the bottom.  And I wanted some kind of border that echoed the colours throughout.

The simple stripes were, well, pretty simple to figure out.  I was sooooo proud of myself when I experimented and managed to produce a pretty good looking stripe.  Then I was looking on Ravelry and saw someone else's design that seemed to incorporate the exact same pattern that I had laboriously come up with on my own.  Apparently, it's a thing.  I probably could have found it somewhere online and saved myself a lot of effort.  Oh well.

The intricate multi-coloured stripes were from a stitch dictionary I found on YouTube which I modified with a cool spiky eyelet border.  It looked suitably Grimm.  (Get it)?  However, this was the first time I was attempting to fit a fixed pattern stitch into a shape that was increasing every row.  It seemed simple enough.  I made a spreadsheet.  I calculated stitch counts by row.  I did a  little math.  Remember this picture?

And after all that, it still didn't work.  A knitting friend suggested that I chart out the pattern first to make it easier.  That confused me even more.  Remember, math and spatial logic are not my friends.  I really struggled with it.  Every time I tried to figure it out, things weren't working.  I got a lot of suggestions from well meaning people about how to learn what I needed to know.  And although, I appreciated their suggestions, I didn't take any of them.  I can't help it.  It was something that I needed to take apart and build from the ground up for myself.  I needed to get inside it and understand how it worked.  I needed the struggle.

So I persevered.  And I got it wrong some more.  And then, finally, I saw where I was going wrong.  I adjusted some more and it was like the clouds parted and the angels sang and.....well, anyway, it worked.  Seriously though, there is no better feeling than the moment you figure out something that has been kicking your ass for days.

Was it smooth sailing from there? I wish I could say yes, but....No.  It still took a few more days of knitting, adjusting, and calculating to get it just right.  To make it look like I wanted it to.  To make it super clear and easy to follow for the people who, hopefully, invest their money and faith in my pattern.  Because the whole point is to do the hard part so that other people can follow my instructions and have simple, instantaneous success.  But I had learned something from the first mistake.  And the second.  And so on.  But the solutions were coming faster with each problem I solved and it was getting easier to spot the errors and correct them.

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/trail-of-crumbs

Until it was done,  The sample is knit.  The photos are taken. It had a name:  Trail of Crumbs.  And the whole thing is available online for your knitting pleasure.  And whether it is popular or not, I take a lot of satisfaction from the fact that I forced myself to step out of my comfort zone and attempt a more challenging design.  That I stuck with it when it got hard.   And that I got through to the other side with considerably more knowledge than when I went in.  After all, there's more than one way to define success.

http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/trail-of-crumbs

A Girl's Gotta Eat

The fridge was looking pretty bare today so I put my knitting aside to fill it back up.

That statement makes it sound as if I am a responsible adult but, in all honesty, my knitting was pissing me off so I needed to put it down before i broke something.

I suffer from a fairly major setback for a knitwear designer.  I can't count.  Apparently.  Also, I hate math.  Even the simplest math conjures up images of my Grade 9 math teacher, Mrs. Christian and her pinched disapproving face.

All of this paper represents my efforts to correctly calculate 8 rows of knitting for my newest shawl, Gretyl.  8 rows.  This is in addition to the computer spreadsheet I built to calculate stitch counts for every row, the computer generated stitch chart (which is also not working) and the actual sample which I have currently attempted to knit and ripped out three times.  So far.

So, today I decided to cook.

Since I was already frustrated, I needed to cook things that would satisfy the following criteria:

• work the first time, 
• be delicious, and 
• not tax my fried brain.  

I wanted low fuss, high reward.

So first up, banana bread.

 I am currently obsessed with banana bread. Can't get enough of it.  It makes me happy.  I stumbled across a fantastic healthy-ish recipe from Cookie and Kate thatI think is awesome.  Especially when you add 3/4 cup of miniature chocolate chips.  As I do.  And an extra banana.  Which I also do.  It uses whole wheat pastry flour which adds fibre but keeps things fluffy.  It uses coconut oil which is a great healthy fat.   Also maple syrup because I am Canadian and it is lower on the glycemic index than refined sugar.  And the best part?  One bowl.  Score! Here's the recipe (with my modifications).

Cookie + Kate's Healthy Banana Bread a la Cathy

3 ripe bananas, mashed
1/3 cup coconut oil, melted
1/2 cup maple syrup
2 eggs
1/4 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 3/4 cups whole wheat pastry flour
3/4 cup miniature chocolate chips ( minis are best 'cuz they don't all sink to the bottom)!

Preheat your oven to 325 degrees.

Whisk the oil and maple syrup together in a large bowl.  Add the eggs, almond milk, and vanilla.  Whisk away.  Now add in the baking soda, cinnamon and salt.  Whisk.  Throw in the flour and stir with a wooden spoon until just mixed.  Fold in the chocolate chips.

Pour batter into a parchment lined loaf pan and bake for one hour.  That's it.  You're done and you're welcome!

The next recipe isn't even really a recipe.  It's just a quick "cheater's" Bolognese.  The yum factor depends entirely on the quality of the ingredients.

All you do is chop half a vidalia onion finely and saute it in oil for about five minutes.  Add in about 1 tbsp. finely chopped garlic and give it another thirty seconds or so.  Add a pound of organic lean ground beef and brown it all up.  Stir in a big jar of your favourite jarred pasta sauce.  Mine is Victoria White Linen Marinara Sauce which is available at Costco and is the absolute best.  Let the whole mess simmer on low while you cook up a bag of your favourite dried pasta.  Today I went with veggie rotini.  Add sauce to pasta, stir and you have enough pasta bolognese for a crowd or to store and eat over the next few days.  Seriously, it makes a lot.   If you love your family more than I love mine, you could even pour the whole thing into a greased baking dish, top it with shredded mozzarella and bake it for about 20 minutes at 350 degrees.  Then you can call it "pasta al forno" and feel really superior.

And finally, because it's hot outside and I didn't want to heat up the house any more, I threw together a quick and easy chicken salad.  I came up with this recently for a weekend at the cottage and now I want to eat it all the time.  With banana bread.  It's super easy, super healthy, and well balanced.  Just serve on your favourite fresh greens and you can feel really virtuous while you wolf it down.  Here's the recipe:

Cathy's Cottage Chicken Salad

1 pkg of cooked chicken breast strips, coarsely chopped
3/4 cup chopped walnuts
1 cup seedless green grapes, sliced in half
2 stalks celery, sliced
2 green onions, sliced
1/4 cup fresh parsley, coarsely chopped

Throw all the above into a large bowl.  Then in a separate bowl, mix the following:

1/4 cup Vegennaise (or your favourite mayo)\
1/4 cup Plain Greek Yogurt
1 Tbsp. Honey
1 Tbsp. Lime Juice
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. black pepper

Served on your favourite fresh greens, (and banana bread) this is a whole meal.  Perfect for summer!

And of course,

I tried to explain to Izzy that I couldn't share my banana bread with her because of the chocolate chips,but .....

And now, back to my knitting.  Enjoy!

Things My Mother Taught Me

My Mom has been gone for almost 21 years.  I don't have any pictures of her, nor do I have a collection of family heirlooms that were passed down to me. What I did have, I lost to a house fire that destroyed most of my possessions several years ago.  Not that it matters.  I'm not really a "thing" kind of girl anyway.  Even without pictures, her face has never faded.  Not even a little.

I remember the white cats eye sunglasses and frosted pink lipstick she wore in the seventies and the power suits she wore in the eighties.  I remember the scent of her signature Oscar de la Renta perfume, the fuzzy pink sundress she wore when she did the laundry, and the way she smiled with her mouth closed to hide the little gap between her front teeth because she was self conscious about it.

I remember her voice because it is the voice of my conscience and the source of my moral standards. When I run to the grocery store in my boyfriend sweatpants and well worn Canada Day t-shirt, I still sense her disapproval. And when my son smiles it is doubly special because he is smiling with her lips and I feel warmed twice over.

I think about her a lot when I knit for two reasons.  First, because she taught me how and second, because my hands are her hands.  When I see them holding a book or a pair of knitting needles, I am transported back to our overstuffed apartment where she sat in "her" antique chair and blocked out the sounds of our squabbles and the television which was always too loud because my Father was hard of hearing.  She created her own bubble of stillness in the chaos.  Her only contribution, the turning of a page or the click click of her needles.

After I flunked out of Brownies due to my inability to knit, my Mother finally taught me how.  Before would have been better, but I'm not bitter.  Strangely, although she knit continental style, she taught me English style.  She was a picker, I am still a thrower.  There seemed to be no knitting instruction she couldn't interpret but I only saw her knitting three things:  plain socks for my Father, an impossibly old fashioned and frilly baby cardigan, hat and bootie set, and Icelandic sweaters.  All of these in unthinkable multiples.

Not my hands.  My hands are incapable of this.

Socks are hard.  You have to knit them on sets of four double pointed needles to create the small tube shape.  You have to use short rows to shape the heel.  It requires patience and manual dexterity.  I have never mastered either.  Especially when socks are widely available for purchase at reasonable prices and I rarely wear them.  My husband is welcome to buy his at WalMart.

It was sort of like this but frillier.  Really.

The baby sets were intensely feminine but my Mother made them for baby boys and baby girls indiscriminately, changing from pink to blue yarn as the occasion demanded.  Seriously, these things were so elaborate and fussy they would not be out of place at Royal Christening.  She made so many that there are probably a few still out there somewhere.  At least I hope so.  She was too ill to knit by the time my son came along.

She made exactly four Icelandic Sweaters.  One for my Father, one for herself, one for my sister and one for me.  Matching naturally.  These sweaters she knit with extremely scratchy, chunky weight yarn.  (That's thick for those of you unfamiliar with the terminology).  They also required the carrying of three different colours of yarn across the back of the Fair Isle pattern in the yoke.  This translated to four layers of extremely thick yarn across the chest.  It's an elaborate technique and it also requires time and patience.  After the first one turned out virtually unwearable, even in our Canadian winters, I am uncertain why she soldiered through three more.  I suppose she wanted to be fair.  Or perhaps she wanted to share the experience of Menopause with her family because that's what wearing one of those sweaters felt like.  We all dutifully stored them in our closets and took them with us when we moved, but no one wore one more than once.

Not the actual sweater but are you hot just looking at it?

So not only did I learn my love of knitting from my  Mother, I also learned the following "Purls" of Wisdom:

• Socks are hard.  Buy them at WalMart instead
• The patterns that are fun to knit are often completely impractical to wear.
• Use the right weight yarn for the garment you are knitting if you ever want to wear it.
• A handmade knitted garment is an act of love.  It is the product of hours of patience, sweat, and sometimes cursing.  If you are lucky enough to receive one as a gift, you should treasure it forever.